Photo by Cesare Burei on Unsplash
Candle-making can be a meaningful way to reconnect with the ones you love at significant times of the year.
Many cultures around the world practise remembrance of the dead and the ancestors with candles. I have adapted the Jewish tradition of soul candles for this activity. This traditional practice was done by some women in Ashkenazi communities during Elul, a spiritually loaded season of the year. They would ‘measure’ the cemetery with thread that would then be used for candle wicks. While making the candles the women recited their own prayers calling on the ancestors to offer blessing and protection.
In making the candles, and in lighting the candles, we can remember and maintain relationship with those who have died. I have found this practice can be helpful for those who are travelling far away from the land where their loved ones and ancestors are buried, as the candle wick is a lightweight but tangible way of carrying your people with you. This activity could accompany other activities for remembrance and for cherishing your departed loved ones, and the candles will be meaningful additions to a memory table or shrine.
Materials
A roll of candle wick
Wax
Scissors
Candle mould
Blue tac
A clothes peg larger than the diameter of your mould
Baking paper
A saucepan
A pyrex jar with handle
A cutting board (not plastic)
Water
Alfoil
Steps
1. Go to the place where your loved one is buried. Wrap the length of wick around the grave or the place where they are interred. While doing so, recite some words that are meaningful to you and your loved one. Use their name, and your name. You might even sing a song that is meaningful within your relationship. Someone I know played songs their mother loved while wrapping the wick around her grave.
2. Back home, cut a length of wick the size of your candle mould, leaving a couple of extra centimetres at either end. Throughout this entire process, you can continue to surround yourself by the sights and sounds of your relationship with your loved one.
3. Heat up water in the pot. Using a wax of your choice, fill the pyrex jar with enough wax that it will fill your mould when melted (the wax I use reduces from around 450 mL to 200 mL). Place the pyrex jar in the pot, with the handle hooked over the edge. Make sure not to get any water in with the wax. Your wax should come with an information sheet telling you optimal temperatures for melting, adding scent and colour, and pouring. I'm an amateur - I just wing it.
4. Place the length of wick into the melting wax and stir it around a little so the entire wick is coated in wax. Remove the wick (not with your bare fingers) and lay it out straight on the baking paper. Pre-waxing the wick this way makes it easier to thread into your mould.
My messy work space. Baking paper, prepared wicks, blue tac, pyrex jug with leftover wax, and completed mould. Teaspoon is for icecream.
5. Prepare the mould for the wax pour by threading the wick through the hole and sealing the bottom with blue tac. Nothing fancier than blue tac is needed. I used to lightly oil the inside of the mould, but recently haven't been doing this and I think the candles are smoother and actually come out of the mould easier. Finally, clip the loose end of the wick with the peg and set it in a position that it will not block your pour.
6. Once the wax has melted, use oven mitts or a tea towel and remove it from the heat. Set it onto the cutting board (not plastic) and wait for it to cool down a little before pouring wax into your mould. Pour it to the top of the mould, as it will shrink a little as it hardens. Now arrange the peg so the wick comes out in the middle of the candle.
7. Put the soon-to-be-candle in a spot where it can set without the cats knocking it over. Then wait.
8. Removing the candle from the mould is only tricky if you are impatient (I learned the hard way). I use a plastic mould, and as the wax I prefer is a soft soy wax, it takes up to a day for the wax to pull away from the inside of the mould. Once it does, it slides out easily. If it is still stuck after a full 24 hours, try putting it into the freezer for a few minutes. Don’t leave it in the freezer for longer than that, as the candle will crack. Harder waxes slide out easily much faster.
9. Trim the wick at the bottom of the candle. Set some alfoil into the bottom of the (now empty) saucepan and turn on the heat. Gently circle the candle over the alfoil until the base is even and flat.
10. The candle will burn straight away, but if you leave
it to cure for a couple of weeks the wax will harden and the candle will probably burn more slowly. I don’t use scent or colour in my soul candles, but if you do, this will impact the curing time.
11. Use your candle whenever you want to remember your loved one or invoke your relationship with them. Please, never leave the burning candle unattended, and watch out for your glasses.
